Go Fund You A Job, NOT A Go Fund Me Account

Today was a horrific day for me. I was shot 60 times and lived. I lost all of my limbs and I cant take care of my children. I wont be able to work my $7.25/hour job, so I wont be able to afford to move into my brand new 500,000.00 house that I also have no furniture for. So I was hoping through Gofundme, anyone out there with a heart can donate $100k to me and my family. This should cover all moving expenses, furniture, and the new car I need to drive to the new house….

This is how they sound. All of them. The regular Gofundme patrons.

Anyone that knows me knows I am a huge defender of Millennials and all of their cooky ways. Their knack for creating optimal situations using minimum effort is almost something to admire. But bruh, their newest hustle, I mean newest business venture of panhandling online is just out right reckless. And you know I’m not lying. How many “Instagram models” (made up jobs) have out right begged for money to pay for their “modeling career” their real job of Customer service rep at Office Depot job couldn’t pay for? Don’t get me wrong, I think crowd funding is one of those things that have started great businesses, ideas, and help hundreds of people. The problem is like everything else in this world, people love abusing things. Instead of using it to start business and getting help for ACTUAL financial woes; people seem to do what they always do and find a way to cheat the system. Trust me, I’m not a generational snob. I recognize all generations have scam artists, but creating fictional tragic events with a back story and PowerPoint presentations is problematic.

People out here really want to help, and by people, I mean me. The fact that I am quicker to help a man faster than I would help a woman has nothing to do with anything. The fact of the matter is people out here want to be helpful, but these made up stories are so masterful you can never tell who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. I would lose my mind if I gave to a man online that said his house burned down and in two months I see him driving a better car than me. One that I helped pay for!! I would find him at what ever internet café he was committing ID fraud at and have a serious conversation with him.

At the end of the day, I never give over $20.00 in any situation anyway, It’s more of the principle of it all. Having a giving personality is a trait that while it sounds good in romantic comedies gets you conned. So while you guys are giving your social security checks to that “African king” who inherited millions I would much rather loan one of my friends a $20 to feed his kid. Now we both may be getting conned, but if my friend cons me at least he’s within arm’s reach. You feel me?

Personally, I do not support the majority of crowd funding unless there is verifiable proof of the tragedy.

-Orrin