I sat down one Saturday with two models and a business owner. I can honestly say I am nowhere near the life of the party, but after two amaretto sours and an internal pep talk to myself to initiate more con- versations, I blurt out the question, “Does anyone here believe in open relationships?” Everyone looks up in with a collective look of ‘Orrin what the hell are you talking about?’ look on their faces. As I begin to explain my random outburst, I wonder: What the hell really is an open relationship and is this the new monogamy?

The general consensus is that an open relationship has the stigma
of “when we are together we are together and when we are not we
are NOT!” That seems fine from a male point a view; as if we are not already cheating. The mere fact that our girlfriend would give us license to do more than window shop is absolutely exhilarating. But that’s not what the focus of this article is about. The focus is: after deciding to
be in an open relationship while we men are running around humping every leg in town… we are quick to forget that our girlfriend – our ‘oh so understanding girlfriend’ – is in an open relationship too.

I don’t care what we as men say publicly to our friends, women, and or anyone that will listen. We are an insecure breed. An “I can do it but you can’t,” bunch. Wait, am I breaking man law? The fact of the matter is while we men seem to always be in an open, it never really registers to us as men that she will be seeing other guys too. I mean really guys; let’s put everything in perspective. We are, or at least all want to be, alpha males. We don’t like sharing our hot wings, sharing our six pack of Bud Ice. And as much as we fake the funk, we don’t – and I mean DO NOT – like sharing our women.

Think about it. In the movies, Morris Chestnut is reconsidering marrying the love of his life because she had one night of indiscretion – and all the while he was cheating his ass off. Or on a much larger scale, where we as men are allowed to be real life porn stars, women are cast down as hoe, slut, and whatever other four or five letter word you can think of. Even I do it…. Errrr I mean I’ve done it. I would cheat, and not think anything of it. But if I’ve found out my woman cheated, I would use words that in a nutshell boil down to, “b*tch you nasty.”

I’ve said all of this to say: Fellas! Treat your women and your relation- ship as you would want your woman to treat the relationship. In the end, I can’t say whether open relationships are right, wrong, or in be- tween. That’s for you to decide. But I leave on an old cliché, “Do until others as…” Blah blah blah…. You know the rest. Fellas just remember that instead of sleeping around on her, feeling pissed and heartbroken that she honored the open relationship that YOU suggested, or being the dirt bag we guys are capable of being, just join in and do it together. The couple that ménage à trois together stays together!

– Orrin Carter (@odiggler)